Sunday, 24 June 2012

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 17

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 17: As I reach the bottom of the staircase, the sounds of voices from the entrance hall reach me. My plan is hatching fast; there is a vase...

Knocking on Faerie Door Part 17

As I reach the bottom of the staircase, the sounds of voices from the entrance hall reach me.

My plan is hatching fast; there is a vase as tall as me standing to the side of the staircase. It’s a special vase, Nanny said it was Ming or Ning or something of the sort. I’m not sure but it sure is huge and conceals me perfectly as I hide behind it. The orb is nestled in my palms and I hold it up to eye level, eager to view the first of the important people.

My heart is pounding and my palms are sweating (or glowing, as girls don’t sweat, according to Nanny) my breath is short and shallow. Here they come! I crouch a little and spy around the vase. The lady is wearing a mink coat, which is dragging on the floor. She looks like she’s floating as I can’t see her shoes. Her hair is so pretty. Her dark locks apart from a fringe are drawn back off her face, and make a cascade of ringlets down her head and to just between her shoulders. This shows off her diamond earrings and necklaces perfectly. Wow, she looks just lovely. Secretly I hope I look like that when I am a grown up lady.

Perfect! I hear the gentleman speaking in hushed tones to father, I was so in awe of the lovely lady I’d forgotten to use my orb! Silly me! I most certainly won’t allow this opportunity to pass.  This elegant gentleman is wearing what is expected, a starched white collared shirt, a black waistcoat with kerchief in the pocket, and top hat with black tail coat. His kerchief is definitely made of silk, I can recognise silk anywhere.

Watching the gentleman and father engrossed in conversation, slowly I lift the orb level with my eye. Expecting to see nothing other than father and the gentleman, I look through the orb, much in the same way mother looks through her racing glasses or father through his monocle.

Uurgghhh!! I quickly put my free hand over my mouth and swiftly move behind the vase to be completely concealed. Knowing my voice had echoed through the vast entrance hall and walkway, I slide slowly down to crouching position. Realising that the hushed discussion had momentarily ceased, I hold my breath. Ten to fifteen seconds pass, Oh good!! they have started conversing again; I release my breath in a slow steady way. I now sit cross legged on the floor behind that vase.

What I have just seen, takes a short while to manifest in my mind. That tall elegant gentleman is nothing other than a slimy, green, skulking TROLL!!! Oh my!! What am I to do? Should I tell Nanny & Mr Bowfinger? I come to my senses, there are to be more visitors. Four more couples. I make up my mind to use my orb on each and every one of them.

Holding my breath and my orb, I see each couple as they come in, I see their true colours. It appears that only one couple are human and the rest are all trolls. As I’ve not used my orb on the 1st guest I’m just guessing she too was troll.

What were they doing here? Do they know what my mission is? Are they here to try and stop me from helping the faerie folk?

Thursday, 21 June 2012

it's worth a try: Knocking at Faerie Door Part 16

it's worth a try: Knocking at Faerie Door Part 16: With my resolve firmly set in my mind, I go and wash ready for dinner. Nanny has said that mother and father want to see me tonight at din...

Knocking at Faerie Door Part 16

With my resolve firmly set in my mind, I go and wash ready for dinner. Nanny has said that mother and father want to see me tonight at dinner, as they have guests joining them. I devise a plan immediately. I need to find the whereabouts of my orb and then, it shall accompany me to the dinner. Hopefully I will be able to try it out on all these important people.

It will be grand to have dinner with mother and father again, I know Nanny will be serving in her stark white, freshly starched pinafore. I love seeing Nanny in charge with the silverware shining (I always find my reflection in the cloches very funny) and the crystal glasses sparkling under the silver candle lit chandeliers

Emerging from my bathtub, all pink again, I realise that I must’ve been deep in thought as I had not noticed that Nanny had been in and laid out my clothes for the dinner party. I know how privileged I am to have the fabulous dresses I have. Father has really spoilt me this time around. The dress is lilac, my very favourite colour!  It is a sweetheart neckline with short puff sleeves, and a bask waist, the hem is at calf length and fringed with pretty handmade lace. Oh the feel of satin against my skin, it’s just divine. As soon as the dress is over my head, I hear the familiar footsteps of Nanny. My head is now through and I see Nanny sitting on the edge of my bed, her hands are folded over a white box. Curios I ask “Nanny what is in that box?”

Nanny says with a sly smile “It’s a surprise young lady”  

“Please tell me Nanny!”  I just love surprises and Nanny knows this. She teases me further by stroking the box them drumming her fingers on it and rolling her eyes skyward.

“Nanny” “Don’t tease me! Please, please tell me now” my voice has a whine to it. Nanny doesn’t like whining I know this.

Patting the bed Nanny motions me to sit beside her, I immediately do so, and my stomach is turning summersaults; I need to breathe. What could possibly top my lilac dress?  

Nanny was slowly lifting the lid of the box and peeking inside, then dropping it down again, and shrugging her shoulders at me.

“Please, please, please!” Nanny I begged with a mock smile and clasped hands. I was bouncing up and down with what was a mixture of pure delight at the prospect of what lay within the box and absolute anguish at not being able to get at its contents.

Finally Nanny slid the lid off the box one agonizing centimetre after one agonizing centimetre. There in that cold white box I saw tissue paper, there was a hint of something peeking out beneath. What can it be? Nanny opens the tissue paper and nestled in it lay the most wonderful pair of shoes I had ever been privileged enough to set my eyes on.

White patent leather!!! Sooooo excited.  Nanny says “that’s not all!” “Not all?” I am so overwhelmed by the gifts of the dress and the shoes that my eyes are welling up. Surely there can’t be any more. Nanny puts her hands in her pinafore pocket. And slips out a little packet she opens it for me, out of her hands roll a pair of hose!

“Mummy and Daddy have decided that you are now old enough for your first pair of hose” Nanny informs me. Tears stream down my face; I am so blessed to have all this luxury given to me. “Dry your tears sweet girl” and get your silk gloves from the drawer, Let me show you how to put these on without putting ladders in them.”

Nanny with gloved hand pushed he fingers to the tip of the hose, and then pushed the hose down her arm, and holding onto the roll that this formed Nanny instructed me to put one foot after the other in, her gloved hands then unfurled the hose up my legs and around my bottom and snapped it against my waist. They feel so smooth against my legs. I feel all grown up. Nanny ties my hair up in a pretty ribbon before leaving my room.

Momentarily I had forgotten my plan, but before I leave it dawns on me.

Quietly I stand in the centre of my room and think “Orb, I need you.” And within seconds there is a weight in my hand; instinctively I know my orb has arrived.

I skip off down the corridor towards the staircase, orb in hand and plan afoot. This should be so much fun.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 15

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 15: “Winifred, Winifred!!” I hear Nanny’s voice; slowly I begin to focus on my surrounding. My mind rushes back to Goblins and Trolls oh my ...

Knocking on Faerie Door Part 15

“Winifred, Winifred!!” I hear Nanny’s voice; slowly I begin to focus on my surrounding. My mind rushes back to Goblins and Trolls oh my word! At the same time I chastise myself for always fainting when my mind goes into overdrive.

“Yes Nanny” answering timidly, not sure what else I’m about to hear, and seriously beginning to curse my inquisitive nature.

“There, there dear, I know that it’s all overwhelming” “Let me tell you all about it” Nanny continues. “You see many years ago there was peace and harmony among the fairies, goblins and trolls. Until the Goblins and Trolls started to take advantage of us fairies” “It all started with little things like us helping them with their laundry and looking after their babies and helping with all sorts of things really” “Then they started expecting us to do it for them, and started treating us badly” “Our Queen, whom I believe you’ve met, began taking umbrage to the way her subjects were being treated, and when our queen made her feeling known the trolls and the goblins became very angry and said that they’d put out all our lights if we didn’t continue working for them!” “Our queen tried to explain that we’d only been doing them a favour and that it wasn’t our job to work for them, they however would hear nothing of it. They are very lazy and very unkempt you see, and they knew that if we stopped looking after them they would be in their caves surrounded by garbage and smelling the same.”

“They then set about infiltrating the humans’ homes and school rooms and started spreading nasty rumours that fairies don’t exist. They know that as long as children believe in us, our lights will shine and we can live our naturally long lives.”

“So that is why you must be very careful, they are deceitful and sly. They will stop at nothing to get their revenge on us, even though all we ever did was helping them and being kind to them.”

“Nanny” I replied “I’m sure that I will easily be able to recognise a goblin or a troll”

“Don’t be so sure, they are masters of trickery and disguise, they shape shift to look just like humans!”

“How then Nanny, am I supposed to recognise them?”

“Use your orb, my sweet” “All you do is look through the crystal orb and the person’s true identity will be revealed”  “Thus driving the message home”

Another piece of the puzzle falls into place, my quest ever clearer. My resolve to help the fairies is concrete.

“Thank you Nanny, I will do my best” I replied to Nanny; incensed by the audacity of those goblins and trolls. “I will make them sorry and help the fairies lights glow brightly once more”

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 14

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 14: There is so much information for me to take on board, I’m quiet overwhelmed. At last I have the answers I was looking for. They are maybe...

Monday, 11 June 2012

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 14

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 14: There is so much information for me to take on board, I’m quiet overwhelmed. At last I have the answers I was looking for. They are maybe...

Knocking on Faerie Door Part 14

There is so much information for me to take on board, I’m quiet overwhelmed. At last I have the answers I was looking for. They are maybe not the best answers but they are my answers none the less.

Wobbling slightly on my feet when I rise, I say thank you to BB, and she leads me back to the door. As I leave I look back at all these magical creatures and it all seems quiet surreal, apart from the fact that I am looking at faerie folk, they all seem so sad. One faerie wave’s farewell to me, I’m not sure if the wave is reluctant or hopeful.

What a huge responsibility I bear. Right I cannot let them down; I have to come up with a plan.  I must tell Nanny that I know her true identity and that of Bob Bowfinger. They will surely help me to work out what the best plan is.

The first thing is to work out why the lights started to dim and die, and the faeries along with them. What or who could have caused such a terrible thing to befall the faeries?

“Nanny!!” I called as I reached the top of the stairs leading onto the sun terrace. I loved the terrace it was big and the wooden floors looked splendid, we had white wicker furniture with puffy cushions and huge plant pots with all manner of fern tree dotted about. Sometimes I’d sit out on the chairs and read the latest story book that daddy occasionally brings home for me from London.

I call again “Nanny!” and race through the hallway towards the kitchen; there I almost knock poor Nanny off her feet. “Winifred! How many times have I told you not to run in the house?”

“Sorry Nanny” I said, and hastily added “Oh Nanny I know everything!!”

“Everything?” “Whatever are you talking about dear girl?”

“Nanny we can’t talk here, can we talk somewhere private?”

Nanny lead me off into the pantry, it was a large room which was off the side of the kitchen and held all our dried foods, cereals, rice, sugar, coffee and the like. There was more than enough space in there for another three or four people to fit comfortably. Nanny carefully looked around to make sure the kitchen staff were still on their break, then without any further ado, pulled the door closed. We were in total darkness, I blinked and my eyes slowly adjusted to their new dark surroundings.

“Nanny I know all about your people” I whispered. Nanny looked down at me with a wry smile. “I’m sorry” she said “For having deceived you all this time” “Butterpetal sent me word that you know” “Mr Bowfinger and I will help you anyway we can” “Please be careful my dear” she followed on. “Those dreadful goblins and trolls are not to be messed with”  she said now staring at me with intent through the inky blackness in the pantry.

My mind snapped over suddenly goblins and trolls no one said anything about goblins and trolls. I feel like the ground is opening up beneath my feet again…..

Sunday, 10 June 2012

A review on Slave by Sherri Hayes, written by

A review on Slave by Sherri Hayes

Slave (Finding Anna #1)Slave by Sherri Hayes
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It was 2am on Saturday morning when I finally put this book down. I had started reading it the day before and had become so engrossed in it, I refused to stop reading until I had read the last word.
'Slave', is unlike any other BDSM genre book I have read, and I have read quite a few. It is also, in my opinion, the best one I have read. Don't expect to be reading sex scene after sex scene with this book. In fact, there are none. Nor is it one of those that you will get your rocks off on, at least it wasn't for me, however, it does delve deep into the world of dominance not sugar coating any of it.

The book deals with the journey two people make who are both in the scene. One, willingly, the other, not so much. Stephen (a Dominant) is an affluent business man who 'buys' a slave girl (Brianna) in order to 'save' her. The journey is slow and hard for both of them. For him, as he gradually comes to terms with his deeper feelings for her and for her, as she slowly realises that she is indeed free. There were times I felt he made the wrong decisions/choices, yet as you read you might agree that you would have done the same and it only made him more human in my eyes. The characters are exceptionally well written and the book fast paced - I was not bored in a single paragraph. Although dealing in-depth with the sometimes controversial topic of BDSM, 'Slave' is heart wrenching and poignant and I find myself wanting to scream from the rooftops for everyone to read it, although I do understand it might not be to everyone's taste. I have read that some did not like the ending, but I feel that it was staged perfectly to lead into the sequel.

I have done a few reviews, some at the request of the authors, but with 'Slave' the moment I had finished reading it, I wanted to jump on Amazon and Goodreads and tell the world how 'WOW' it was but as it was in the silly hours of the morning and I was desperately tired, I opted for searching for the author on Twitter and told her instead. This review could wait till the morning.

Worth every penny I paid and the 5 star rating in my opinion and I will definitely be buying the sequel to this. I do hope Ms Hayes will be publishing it soon.

Beautiful Blogger Award- yay me!

Its always lovely when you find out that you have been nominated for a blogger award so I was thrilled yesterday to find out I had been nominated by the incredible Bernadette Davies for the 'Beautiful Blogger Award'. Check out her amazing blog here: an amazing blogger that will have you both in stitches with her humour and contemplative with her views on life in general.

Now, as part of the award, I have to tell you 7 things about myself and nominate 7 bloggers to share this award with. Here goes:

I'm the youngest of 6 children
I’m a Salvador Dali enthusiast
I’m drawn to both the macabre and fantastical
I believe in fairies
Black my favourite colour
I love children and that's my job!! Luckiest girl in the world

I am only allowed to nominate 7 bloggers, which is actually very difficult as I'm new to this myself, so havn't come across that many that I could recommend.

 However, here are my 7 chosen favourites:

Yearning for Wonderland by Anna Meade  An inspiration and fantastic writer
Morgue of Intrigue – by Cory Eadson. Winner of a recent flash fiction competition that had 88 entries and met him on twitter and is a top lad
There's always cracks – by Alycia Bezuidenhout.
Once Upon A  Time...there was an anthology - by Susi Holliday
My lived-in life - By Mike Manz - By Ms Bullish.

Thank you again Bernadette #yourock

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door part 13

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door part 13: BB brings over a cup of nectar, which she informs me was harvested early morning by the army of bees that work for the Queen. The nectar i...

Knocking on Faerie Door part 13

BB brings over a cup of nectar, which she informs me was harvested early morning by the army of bees that work for the Queen. The nectar is so sweet and warm it slides like liquid gold down my parched throat. I sigh a thank you to BB. Her beautiful gown and wings dazzle, she walks effortlessly towards her chair, just to the right of me, and taking up her own cup of nectar takes a long swing. Thinking to myself that BB probably needs sustenance to work with the like of silly little ol’ me.

“You have questions, Winifred” she says. “That’s completely understandable”. “Let me start by saying; we were rushed, and we never expected the lights to start fading as rapidly as they have!”

“We thought we’d still have a few years to ready you for all of this” she says matter of fact, shrugging her shoulders. “It was never our intention to drop all of this on you with no proper preparation, I apologise”. She continued “The Queen is not good at humility, given her status I’m sure you can see why.” “This must be awfully difficult for you, as you are still so young. Please believe me when I say to you, my folk had no other option. You were chosen you see, before you were even born.”

Taking another long drink of my warm nectar, and glancing up over the rim of my cup I acknowledge that I understand.

BB continues “Thirteen years ago, at around the turn of the season from autumn to spring, we started to notice that a few our lights had started to dim, not many, but enough for us to notice. We tracked the trend and what started as only five faeries lights dimming, quickly multiplied to twenty five, which then multiplied again.” “Fortunately for us there are millions of faeries in this garden and the fields and meadows beyond, however we started to hatch our plans to secure the future of Faerie Folk in case it became worse.”

“Our worst fears became reality after only a few short months, and action was urgently required!” “Fortunately your mother had just learned that she was to become a mother, so we placed Delores Daffodil with sparkling references, at your mother’s door, just as soon as your mother was thinking about getting in hired help, to assist her in taking care of you”

“It was with great joy that we celebrated your birth in our Kingdom, knowing that you would be the child who would bring our lights back!” “How we danced and sang and fluttered the night away, we even had unicorn races in the adjoining field at midnight. Humans had reported seeing fireflies in the meadow late that night. Oh how we all laughed, as we are so often mistaken for fireflies.”

“If the truth is to be told there had been an overindulgence of nectar and fairy cakes that night too, many faerie children complaining of tummy ache, and some of the adult faeries complaining of similar ailments too.” “We were all just so pleased, you see, for your arrival. It was indeed the best party I have ever attended.”

BB went on to say “there has been little since that day to celebrate, our faeries lights are going out and their lives with them.” A silver tear dropped from her reddening eyes. “Millions of faeries now stand at merely tens of thousands, this figure is dropping daily” “we are trying to encourage our lights not to glow too brightly so they can be sustained, that’s why we are using artificial light” “This however is not an answer and daily our numbers are dwindling” “Can you see my dear child, why we need you so?”

My heart feels like a stone in my chest.

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 12

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door Part 12: Butterpetal Bloom all at once dissolved her temper; it fell from her like the leaves on an autumn tree, caught in a wisp of wind. Her arms...

Knocking on Faerie Door Part 12

Butterpetal Bloom all at once dissolved her temper; it fell from her like the leaves on an autumn tree, caught in a wisp of wind. Her arms circled the back of my neck. A feeling of pure peace cocooned me.

All was still.

“I’m sorry” the words slid from my mouth like a serpent in the hot desert sands.

“Don’t worry little one,” her soothing tone further calming my now peaceful spirit. “You have been chosen: this is your destiny!” Suddenly I was no longer at peace, my stomach does somersaults, and my palms are clammy once more. “Every single one of us wishes you well in your quest!”

The questions I need answering are about to rush out, when Butterpetal Bloom holds up a finger gesturing me be still. “Come” she says, meekly I follow her (I recall how this mess all started) into that wonderful little door, which had so intrigued me.

This time we move more slowly, the smell of cookies and cinnamon fill my senses. Butterpetal Bloom, or BB as I’ll call her from here on in, sees my reaction to the smell and says quiet nonchalantly “yes, we all smell like that” How enchanting and bewildering I find it all.

This space which I had previously been rushed through, I can now take in. All is a wonder, even more opulent than the dreams I used to have before my 1st real visit.

The Faerie folk were busily getting on with their chores. The tailor was measuring yard upon yard of the finest silk, seemingly woven from pure gold. The cobbler was banging his latest pair of faerie shoes together using what appeared to be solitaire diamonds, only little ones to be fair, but wow!!

As we meander slowly along the ever winding passages, it occurs to me how much has been going on in that old oak tree, all these years. We pass the farrier who is shoeing …. What? That’s no ordinary mini horse; it’s a unicorn… my heart misses a beat. Unicorns everywhere…they are just beautiful, they are tethered by golden chains, and float and drop as they please until their turn comes for their new platinum shoes. Standing glued to the spot, BB urges me on. Gently she says “come my dear, we need to talk”. Remembering the reason for my visit to the old oak tree, I obediently follow her dainty footsteps as she leads me through passage after passage of magical intrigue.

“Here we are my dear” she says sweetly as she swings open a jewel encrusted door. I enter and take a seat on a goose down filled chair. My tears have dried; my heart feels full of joy. My questions no longer hang like a yolk about my neck. Now they are as matter of course.

it's worth a try: Faerie dust falling

it's worth a try: Faerie dust falling: Was it real? Did I really see that? Day dreaming again? well possibly, since I spent most of my real life wishing I was in the other realm w...

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door part 11

it's worth a try: Knocking on Faerie Door part 11: Again my patent leather shoes and knee high socks were at the bottom of the stairs, this time the...

it's worth a try: The Fairies in the New Forest

it's worth a try: The Fairies in the New Forest: The forest was changing from her beautiful lime greens, emerald greens and hunter’s greens to explosions of yellows, oranges and browns. It...

Saturday, 2 June 2012

Knocking on Faerie Door part 11

Again my patent leather shoes and knee high socks were at the bottom of the stairs, this time they were not neatly placed, they were shrew about the bottom stair in my haste. My objective is the old Oak at the bottom of the garden. I must see if I can make contact with Butterpetal Bloom once more.

Perhaps she would be able to tell me what has happened, how or why my life as I know it, has been turned up on its head over the last few days. Why? Yes I must know why!! There are so many questions running through my mind.

A thought occurs to me, I should have written my questions down, to order them in my mind and so that I don't forget a single question.

As I approach the last quarter of our immense garden, I find myself in awe of my surroundings. I have never really stopped to appreciate the carefully manicured lawns, the perfectly planted borders. How each hedge is cut to conformity and the sweet scents of the herbs and fruits fill the air.

I reflect for a moment; how fortunate I am to be surrounded by such natural splendour!! But on with my mission, to get the information required. My feet hasten their pace, feeling each blade of grass on this perfect lawn, crease and fold underfoot. It is still moist with morning dew. Droplets form on my feet.

There it is; the tree of whimsy. My pale yellow dress in its satin smoothness caresses my knees as I make my way southward. My knees edge out behind me; hands are placed at the base of the tree on the tufts of grass that hide the door to the faerie realm.

So now I am level with the door, I edge my hand forward, this time without hesitation. The grass is parted I place my lips close to the door and whisper "Butterpettal Bloom", "are you in there?" "We must simply speak"

The door swings open; I hear a very agitated twittering and chirping coming from the ground. With my eyes squinting, the vision becomes clear. Butterpetal Bloom is clearly not pleased to see me! Hurriedly I whisper my spell:

Take me high
Take me low
Make me wings
Make me glow

I dream about
a place to go
how I need to look
I'm sure you know

So take me now
Here I am
I want to be

The familiar feeling comes over me, the jelly feeling, the shrinking has happened. Luckily no wings this time, so no telling off from she who cannot be trusted . Relief washes over me. Explaining rips again.... not something I'd even want to contemplate.

Down at faerie level, I am confronted with equal sized very angry, hands on hips, foot stamping, scowling and very loud Butterpettal Bloom. "Just what are you doing?" she demands of me. "You very nearly caused a quake indoors!" All the babies are crying & their nursemaids are mad at me”. Oh dear I'm for it now.

"Furthermore, she began...."

I burst into tears...

I lay for the second time in as many days, as a rumpled teary mess on the ground, again not in my original form. I want this to stop!! I can't bear much more!

Friday, 1 June 2012

The Fairies in the New Forest

The forest was changing from her beautiful lime greens, emerald greens and hunter’s greens to explosions of yellows, oranges and browns. It’s my favourite times of year.

The air was crisp as I skipped along and the mist hung over the land like a blanket of organza floating a foot off the ground. The air is moist on my face. I feel invigorated. You know when you are excited about something? When your tummy feels all giddy, and you have a feeling of expectation?

The brook was babbling, and the water was clear when we arrived at our favourite spot near Puttles Bridge, there is a little waterfall about half a meter high, with a lot of shrubbery and towering trees framing its picturesque presence.

The sun had started to burn the early morning mist away. We settled next to the stream with our picnic blanket and our picnic fare.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a glint again. My curiosity sparked, I made my way closer to the little waterfall. Going down on my tummy to get as low as I can, my hand reaches into the water, it pushes past my fingers. I thrill at being so close to nature.

Again the glint catches my eye; there were a lot of these glittering bits floating in the air. Closer I creep, thinking they may be May flies or Dragon flies. Closer still, I separate some foliage; ever so gently I creep closer.

I blink, and again. Dragon flies? May flies? Can it be?

Do my eyes deceive me? The mist has almost gone. After rubbing my eyes I look again, there in front of me are the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen.

Fairies; they really do exist!!!

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